Always

You get to a point where you stop feeling sorry for yourself. You realize no one's going to save you, so you have to save yourself. You turn your life around, not knowing where you're going, just knowing that you'll do anything, anything to be happy again.

There is a big gap between who I am and who I want to be.

I wish I could believe in myself like I believe in you. In order to move on, 
you must know why you felt the way you did
and why you no longer need to feel it. I want someone to fall in love with the way I laugh and fall in love with my smile. I want someone who'll listen to the rambling of my inner child, someone who touches my face and brushes the hair from my eyes. I want someone who loves me, or at least holds me like they do. But I only what that if it's you.

I find beauty in everyone's flaws except for my own

There's just something about you that I'm scared to lose because I know I won't find it in anyone else.

Because I miss you, when something really good happens, you're the first one I want to share it with. Because I miss you when something is troubling me, you're the only one who would've understand. Because I miss you, when I laugh and cry, you're the only one who could make me laugh harder and make my tears disappear. I don't know where we went and why we grew apart, but you should know, I miss you.

As hard as it was to move on, I think I'm finally okay with how we are. At some point, we both wish we didn't ignore each other like that. I’ll be forgiving you, just like you were forgiving me. People make mistakes, second chances are okay. It’s like a weight has just been lifted, I can finally breathe and not worry about what he will say, or when he would've finally stopped ignoring me. Because now I no longer care.

No matter what you do to me, I'm still here. For some odd reason, I stick around and put up with all your mood swings and unkind words. I just let your comments roll off me into a puddle on the floor. I make up excuses on why you didn't call, try to think of all the answers. I keep going back for more even though sometimes you push me away. I don't know if I can do better, but do I really want to? You're quick to push me down when all I want is to be brought up. when I walk out for good, when I really gain the strength I need, then maybe you will see. Maybe you can look back and say, "wow that girl really did love me."

You meant the world to me, even if I didn’t mean the world to you. You taught me so much, and I just want you to know I appreciate everything you’ve done for me in the past few month. You gave me something to be happy about, you gave me the meaning o what it’s like to know that someone actually cares. You truly are an amazing person and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. I know things aren’t easy between us right now, but I hope someday soon, we can go back to how we used to be. But no matter what, don’t ever forget that I am always here for you when you need someone, regardless of what the situation is. You were there for me, so I'm going to be there for you. This isn’t goodbye forever, this is goodbye for now.

Sometimes you have to be strong for yourself. You have to know that you are a good person and a good friend. What is meant to be will end up good, and what is not, won't. Relationships are worth fighting for, but sometimes you can't be the only one fighting. At times, people need to fight for you. If they don't, you must move on and realize what you gave them was more than they were willing to give you. Hopefully people realize great things when they come around and don't lose something real. And always fight until you can't anymore, and then be fought for.

You're probably thinking I've forgotten all about you by now, but that's far from it. I have missed you every waking day and my heart still hurts, but I'm getting better. I continue to smile and still go on without you. I know I have missed you, but I have kept it all inside of me, only for me to know. I still wonder about your doings, how you are, what you're doing, from what we used to talk about, to the laugh in your voice. Just everything, I miss it all. However, I feel that the parting of us was for the best, because everything happens for a reason. Should destiny put us into a crossing road in the future, that is when I will see you again. Until then, remember this, no matter what, even through the screaming fights, the disagreements, mistakes and the tears we've cried, never ever did I give up on you. ***

I need someone to prove to me that I'm worth it, really worth it to them. maybe all I need is a person who can show me that everyone is not the same. Honestly, I thought you were that person but I was wrong. Is it too much to ask for someone to take a risk on me, to fight for me, to actually care enough to not let something go; the way I did for you? You never even thanked me. I acted the way I did because I cared. I didn't realize it then, but I do now. I don't do that for just anyone. So, call me crazy, but today.. today I realized that i can't keep waiting for you. I'm moving on, I can't stay in one place waiting. I can't be around you anymore. I'm not over it, I don't get over things fast, I never have, no matter how much I try and convince myself. I'll see you around sometime. I keep thinking maybe somehow, something will click and everything will go back to the way it was in the beginning. Maybe we could go back to that, but too much has been said and done. So, maybe you'll get one more chance from me, maybe you won't.

You keep telling me to be glad for what we had while we had it. That the brightest flame burns quickest. Which means you saw us as a candle. And I saw us as the sun.

You absolutely destroyed me, did you know that? But you know what, I just wanna say thank you. I don't regret meeting you, but I don't wish you would magically come back into my life again because I believe God gives us someone like this for a reason. Someone who will hurt you a million times, someone who will leave you and not look back. But this person, they will make you a better person in the end. You will come out stronger than ever before and you will be happier without him than you were with him.

Well, how did you expect it to be? You signed up for a car crash when you signed up with me. And you can't swim to safety on a sinking ship. So, go home, baby, if you're ready to quit.